Handsome - Song Four
Lyrics:
Oh yes Sir not good enough
And oh yes Sir I’ll scrub it up.
And oh yes Sir, I’ll want it more,
I’ll duly heed your righteous scorn.
I’ll make a boat from your sage advice,
And sail upon the melted Ice,
And you can learn to me some more,
How two degrees mean sweet fuck all!
Do you hear that awkward pause?
For I have hear all this before.
Handsome is as handsome does,
And you did not invent this curse.
Your bullshit hierarchy;
just the highest monkey in the smallest tree.
For all the good it does for thee,
it’s a piss-based trinkle down theory.
And now you say you smell the smoke,
And tell to me the things I know.
Won’t waste my breath saying told you so,
Won’t shed a tear when the fire burns.
Hear the philosophers as they type,
the bar stood prophets defeat the lies.
While the right-on coffee house crusade,
Corrects the gramma of the whole tirade.
Oh yes Sir ignore the cries,
A thousand lost to starving died,
And a hundred more fell between the cracks,
While the righteous argued over syntax.
But curse the cynics - but not like me -
If the engines ran on hypocrisy.
On the darkest nights I pray in rage,
For the tooth and claw to reign again,
And wash the whole shitshow away,
But no, each morning it starts again.
They’re off to live in that higher plan,
Ascend above the whole squalid game.
Cause you’ve done acid you’re born again,
Mansplain to Kali the scared flame.
So, skip the ads get to the source,
Enlightenment from a neon god,
But once passed thirty you’re pension tired,
A redemption story now you’re old and wise.
Do you hear that awkward pause?
For I have hear all this before.
Handsome is as handsome does,
And you did not invent this curse.
I hear the pantheon’s rates have changed,
It’s two for one on gods again.
The Atheists lodged their complaint,
But faith in man seems a light trite.
See the oil wells burn, the baking heat,
The bone-dry desserts, the dead zone seas.
Perhaps it’s fair, perhaps it’s time,
For intervention from the great divine.
So, curse the lies the tide of sleaze,
The parade of products that I don’t need,
Am I the man they forgot to tell,
This war was lost so long ago,
Embrace the flood the pray for rain,
It’s Gaia’s wrath and mankind’s blame.
about
Handsome is as handsome does is a straightforward song. I was just in a really bad mood when I started writing it.
It’s just a tirade against all the things that irritate me. The fact most of the world condescends to me about how little I know about disability and suffering, even when I nearly died of paralysis and cared for my mother for 20 odd bloody years.
The seemingly barbed questions about what I’m doing with my life after losing both parents and trying to navigate a global pandemic without them.
The never-ending conversation about how well such and such is doing, how they’ve really taken adulting, like boys comparing their dicks behind the bike shed.
And of course, one of my favourites: “Are you still doing music?”
“Well actually I’ve really taken to erotic MAGA fanfic, that’s my main creative outlet these days. The music thing was just a ten-year phase…”
Of Course I’m still doing bloody music, I’ve written the better part of 20 finished songs over the course of lockdown.
We are all born and then die hypocrites, but the song is about me getting bloody sick of being judge to a different standard to my peers, and specifically to a different standard to the ones doing the judging.
What’s that old Bible quote, removed the beam from your own eye, before clearing the mote in your brothers…